So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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