VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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