No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize