I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize