it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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