So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
