STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
