I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
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my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
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CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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