is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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