You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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