went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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