Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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