dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize