Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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