the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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