It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I am one with the molecules
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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