I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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