I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
