He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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