she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
