just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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