NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
