Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
