Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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