i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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