Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
