dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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