Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
