so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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