Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
well you can't waste a boner
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
50% drunk capacity currently
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
