i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize