he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
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