we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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