im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
