Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
