Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
How external is "for external use only"?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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