This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
