Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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