69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
