does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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