Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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