Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
