Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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