i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm at about main and main street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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