Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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