Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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