I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
