Tell her she can't have a vagina
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
