My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
