Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
50% drunk capacity currently
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
