i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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