haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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