What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
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He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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