At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
