And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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