We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
my shit smells like andre
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
