Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
