she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
