please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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