we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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