Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
its not stalking. its research.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
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What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
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HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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