I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
