It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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