That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
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I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
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We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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