I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
