you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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